To do list: (finish before May)

I like the fact that I can make this a bulleted list. So I'm going to do that.
I'm also stating that this is no particular order.

• Take the fucking ACT.
• Find a college that suits me.
• Learn how to accept that people like me.
• See Tegan and Sara. (happening Saturday)
• Lose weight. AND let me take a moment to say that this isn't because I think I'm SO FAT like every other girl my age. I think that if I decide to be in the Tour de Tulsa this year, I'll need to train and will therefore lose weight/
• Learn how to not be so nice to people that I don't like.
• Tell my mom I'm STILL gay.
• SERIOUSLY, accept it when someone likes me. WTF is wrong with me?
• Get a job, obviously.
• Stay pescatarian.
• Take this helping at the homeless shelter thing seriously.
• This one is for June...get the tattoo with my sister.

It's been a while.

Tumblr isn't blocked at school. And I don't know who reads this or how much they like Tumblr. But I'm seriously, I should say was addicted. I had to quit cold turkey when I lost internet. But to the story. I had been checking it at school. Yesterday was topless tuesday. And then today I was unable to log on to my school computer account so automatically my mind goes, "OH MY GOD, THEY LOOKED AT MY HISTORY. I'M GETTING KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL." I was able to get on in my next hour. Thank god.

After that story, this will seem kind of out of place. But I just wrote an essay for my English teacher about perspective. This was sort of inspired by an article in Urban Tulsa this week. I said it was a value I hold. FUCK YOU MS. ARNOLD. How is that for non-cliche? Well, this essay made me think about perspective. So maybe it was decent or maybe that's how my mind just works.

I know how people see me. I'm kind of an asshole. And ever since 2 years ago I told myself I was going to make people see me differently. This will work with new friends. Usually. It's sometimes easier to just do what is expected of you though.

I want college because I want a way to escape everything that everyone here expects from me. I know that sounds selfish and I could just change what I do. But regardless.

I don't know what else to say.
I like this girl, and she wrote about me on her blog and adjiewjfaijfwiao. This is reciprocity.

The wall of this library has what is supposed to look like a fish tank. But it's really just a painting. Perspective.

I'm not really on here anymore.

GO TO MY TUMBLR

mom, am i failing?

so, you know that day when you wake up, and everything just feels so right. like you know where you're heading. like life is actually looking up. like if you died today, it'd be sort of alright. in a weird way. when everything is in perfect balance. and there's that one person who makes you feel so good about yourself. like maybe you'd be invincible.

yeah. well. today is not that day.
that phrase, "everything in moderation"....please, please try applying to my life.

I want you back.

TOP 5 ARTISTS AT THE MOMENT
() = specific song titles


1. local native (airplanes and wide eyes)
2. los campesinos! (the sea is a good place to think about the future)
3. architecture in helsinki
4. why? (the hollows)
5. the pains of being pure at heart


we walk out like lions short on prey and move nicely towards the gate

i ask her to speak french

Then I need her to translate. I realized it had been awhile since I'd last posted anything on here. What's been going on in my life?....

I think the main thing has been everything evening out. Like with the loss of friends, I've gained new ones. I don't think of this as a bad thing either. I like change. It keeps you from wondering the age old question of What if? so much.

I'm grounded, for now. Possibly the whole break, but I don't know. I don't really mind either.

I wrote a new script. I wish I lived in another country, mainly just so they could be considered foreign. Like Let The Right One In, that movie is incredible. I like the effect you get after a while and it's like you aren't even reading subtitles anymore, but you get so into the story.

That's really it. 

Stuff That Happened To Me

We've come to far to have to give it all up now.



I lead a crazy life.
And I fucking hate you.