Then, it hit me.

(WRITTEN ON SATURDAY)

          Last night was a hard night for me. I realized something big. Well, mostly...don't do something you've been contemplating/ dreading for around 3 or so months and then afterwards, go to a huge social event. Right, I went to the game immediately following. I don't know how to describe how I feel right now. It's a funny thing when your own actions shock you. I'm finding that that's happening a lot to me. And it's scary. I'm not the same as I was in June, that's long time, sure. But then again it really isn't. Everyday I'm changing. Nothing is constant.
         I look for consistency in relationships, something I know in the back of my head that I shouldn't be doing. I try to think of what happened to make my life this way. Not in a sad way, just in a what the fuck happened kind of way.

Like I said, I make no sense.

I got one.

Really, I'm just sick of posting long, and probably not often read bulletins. But this is like people actually make the effort themselves to come and check it out. That's what I like. I'll figure everything out and post more shit later.