one night to speed up truth

I wish I could go back in time. Not to anything too distant. Just...April of last year? See, the thing is this. I'm probably the only person left really that believes quite so strongly in the chaos theory. Better known as the butterfly effect.

And I spend too much of my time wondering what would have happened if maybe I hadn't done this, or rather I would have done any small detail differently. It's a bad way to live.

I'm starting to have this mindset about school, and I'm like well fuck, I'm already going to TCC my first two years. Why even try junior year? I know I can slack around and probably keep it at a B average relatively easily. I do try at tech. Then I think, why am I going to TCC? And I realize it's so I don't leave you. You is a million different people.

So I'm going to do this shitty thing I hate, and name drop here. Grizzly Bear: Your songs are fucking amazing. Mainly instrumentals. Jay-z even likes them for Christ's sake. I get really into one band for however long. That's it.

(while I'm at it, I'll name some individuals too, just get it done all at once, KELSEY 1, KELSEY 2, AMANDA, you that doesn't read my blog and i'm sad)

When I read (THE) Catcher in the Rye, I completely hated it. I said to everyone that this little asshole just goes around complaining about everyone that is just like him. And he's holding out for something so unstable. 

Then it came to me, I hate it because that's exactly how I am. The only time I'll admit to it.